We present a dynamic lifecycle model where women choose partnership status, employment and fertility. Some males have a high propensity to engage in abusive behaviour, but women do not observe the nature of a prospective partner when they first meet. Instead, a woman learns her partner’s type by observing his behaviour. This endogenous learning implies responses to abuse as women reassess the value of continuing and investing in their relationship. It further provides strategic incentives to delay relationship-specific investments within new relationships. The model is estimated by method of simulated moments using longitudinal data from the Avon Longitudinal Study of Parents and Children. We simulate alternative scenarios alternating, inter alia, the information that is available to women, the prevalence of abusive males, the gender wage gap, and the generosity of child support policy.